Review: G.I. Joe: Retaliation (2013)

By Doug Heller

Screen Shot 2013-03-29 at 5.45.51 PM


Cast: , ,
Director: Jon M. Chu
Country: USA
Genre: Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi | Thriller
Official Trailer: Here


Editor’s Notes: For an additional perspective on G. I. Joe: Retaliation, read Mel’s review.

First, the good news:  G. I. Joe: Retaliation (Chu, 2013) is better than G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (Sommers, 2009).  The bad news is that the bar set by Rise of Cobra was so low it wasn’t hard to get over.  The story picks up not long after Rise of Cobra with Zartan (Arnold Vosloo) impersonating the President (Jonathan Price) so the nuclear countries can disarm leaving them defenseless against the Zeus weapon that Cobra has been developing.  As President, Zartan orders the execution of the Joes after framing them for the assassination of the Pakistani president.  All but four Joes are killed, leaving Roadblock (Dwayne Johnson), Lady Jaye (Adrianne Palicki), Flint (D. J. Cotrona) and of course Snake Eyes (Ray Park).  It is up to them, plus Snake Eyes’ protégé Jinx (Elodi Yung) to thwart Cobra.  Roadblock leads the team to retired Gen. Joe Colton (Bruce Willis), who is “Why we’re called Joes” according to Roadblock.  Colton has enough armaments in his house to attempt another invasion of Granada which more than supplies the Joes with weapons.  With help from temporary turncoat Storm Shadow, the Joes get Cobra’s plan and attempt to derail it.

First, the good news:  G. I. Joe: Retaliation (Chu, 2013) is better than G. I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (Sommers, 2009).  The bad news is that the bar set by Rise of Cobra was so low it wasn’t hard to get over. 

The opening sequence that leads to the Joes decimation throws off a fake scent to lure us off the trail of what will become a by-the-numbers actioner.  The friendship that is set up between Roadblock and Duke (Channing Tatum, in little more than a glorified cameo) makes us think that the film will be about ‘brothers in arms’, loyalty and supply us with some humor to break up the monotony of constant action.  This is, like I mention, a head-fake.  Aside from the occasional one-liner from Johnson or Willis, there is nothing to let us catch our breath during the last half of the film which is all action.  Not that the action is particularly exciting, but some breaks for a funny scene or something would have allowed the tension to diffuse briefly and make the climax more resonant.

Screen Shot 2013-03-29 at 5.35.52 PMLike Rise of Cobra, there are many plot threads that lead us off in tangents and become stupid plot devices that allow characters to make complete about-faces from their established personalities without warning.  Like The Baroness before him, Storm Shadow turns against Cobra because it turns out he was framed for the murder of his and Snake Eyes’ master when they were children and he apparently now hates what he’s become even though it seems as though he’s known he was working with the murderer the whole time and only now does he feel like he needs to revenge himself upon the true murder.  The implausibility is amped up when it is discovered that the murder of the master is also a primary villain in the film and he seemed to be the same age twenty years ago as he is now.

On the plus side, director John Chu (who until this film had only directed Step Up 2 and 3 and an extreme dancing television show, which could explain why Channing Tatum showed up for any of the film at all, having been in Step Up 2: The Streets in 2008) manages to avoid the stupidity of Rise of Cobra’s overuse of blatant CG in every frame and made the world slightly more plausible.  Gone are the quick pans of slow-motion action, and ridiculous devices like the acceleration suits, however in their place are lots of slow-motion with long things blowing in the wind walking shots and rapid, nonsensical editing that seeks to confuse more than excite.  The fight scenes are more believable and more realistic, but only insofar as this kind of film can make them (the protagonists never really get injured and if they do, they’re fine by the next scene).  Chu even decides to eliminate the music for the first confrontation between Storm Shadow and Snake Eyes.  While this could have been exciting because we would have seen some great martial arts on display, it wasn’t because the sound effects employed were cartoonish and Snake Eyes’ body armor is so bulky I’m surprised he could walk let alone fight (at least they changed his mask so it is flat around his nose and mouth, instead of having those features pronounced like in Rise of Cobra which made him look utterly ridiculous).

Gone are the quick pans of slow-motion action, and ridiculous devices like the acceleration suits, however in their place are lots of slow-motion with long things blowing in the wind walking shots and rapid, nonsensical editing that seeks to confuse more than excite. 

On a casting note, I’m very glad they recast Cobra Commander.  Not because Luke Bracey brings some new depth to the character that was unexplored in the first film, but because it means Joseph Gordon-Levitt was wise enough to pass on being in the film.  it’s just as well, because apart from a few lines in a Darth Vader knock-off voice provided by Robert Baker, all Cobra Commander does in Retaliation is walk in slow motion with his long coat flapping in the wind.  They redesigned his mask as well, making it more like the cartoon/toy line which did the same for him as it did for Snake Eyes.

Screen Shot 2013-03-29 at 5.39.07 PMG. I. Joe: Retaliation also falls into the same traps that Rise of Cobra did in terms of its action as well.  The scenes are well staged, but they are incredibly boring.  What should be exciting falls flat ultimately because there is nothing in any of the characters to care about.  If one were to die, it would mean nothing to the audience and therefore there is no emotional investment in whether or not they get out alive.  They try to do this by giving Roadblock a wife and kids that are actually on screen functioning as a family unit, not just in pictures.  We are actually at his house with Duke and see the interaction between him and his daughters.  Even this does nothing for him because they are not mentioned later and at no time does he have a moment where he dedicates himself to getting out alive so he can see his family again.  It’s like they do not exist for him while he is in ‘mission mode’.  They also attempt to make us care about Lady Jaye when she describes her father’s hostile attitude toward female soldiers and her quest to outrank him so he would have to salute her.  But, he died before that could happen. So now what?  Now nothing, that’s what.  The only reason we are supposed to care if the Joes win or lose is if they lose, Cobra rules the world.  The biggest trouble with that is Cobra is barely defined.  Sure, we know they’re evil and Cobra Commander wants to rule the world but we have no insight into why and no real reason to care.

G. I. Joe: Retaliation offers absolutely nothing new to the world.  It is ostensibly the same film we’ve seen countless times before with the same archetypes and the same approach to every single shot rendered.  It borders on being entertaining, but never manages to cross the line.  Ultimately it is boring and soulless with nothing to distinguish it from any other large-scale action movie.  It is wrote, unoriginal and ultimately not worth the time spent watching it.  It just reinforces the fact that great toys can be made from films, but great films cannot be made from toys.

49/100 ~ BAD. G. I. Joe: Retaliation borders on being entertaining, but never manages to cross the line. Ultimately it is boring and soulless with nothing to distinguish it from any other large-scale action movie. It just reinforces the fact that great toys can be made from films, but great films cannot be made from toys.
I believe film occupies a rare place as art, entertainment, historical records and pure joy. I love all films, good and bad, from every time period with an affinity to Classical Hollywood in general, but samurai, sci-fi and noir specifically. My BA is in Film Studies from Pitt and my MA is in Education. My goal is to be able to ignite a love of film in others that is similar to my own.
  • http://twitter.com/vmaksupreme VAK

    Guess i’ll skip it and watch Spring Breakers instead.

  • http://www.facebook.com/shari.begood Sharon Ballon

    WOW.. thanks for the reviews. I think this is one I can miss.