Review: Chernobyl Diaries (2012)
Cast: Jesse McCartney, Jonathan Sadowski, Olivia Dudley
Director: Bradley Parker
Country: USA
Genre: Horror
Official Trailer: Here
Editor’s Notes: For an alternative perspective on Chernobyl Diaries check out Jaime Burchardt’s review.
So one kid turns to the other kid and says in a nasally voice, “Hey, I dare you to go into the woods.” After the kid nonchalantly dismisses the image of his mother waving her finger as a warning to stay away from the forest, they both decide to venture on and discover whatever horrors or joys are concealed inside the thick maze of ominous trees. In essence, this is the basic force of a road trip horror movie. It tells us why we should be afraid of forbidden places.
Sometimes the journey is innocent but is interrupted by something horrific, like The Hills Have Eyes; sometimes the journey is about searching out something horrific, which is the case in Chernobyl Diaries.
Many films have exploited this universal childhood fear in subtly different ways. Sometimes the journey is innocent but is interrupted by something horrific, like The Hills Have Eyes; sometimes the journey is about searching out something horrific, which is the case in Chernobyl Diaries.
A group of travelers take a tour of the desolation left behind after the nuclear disaster. With expectations of a fun adventure, our cast of characters explore the decaying ghost town with tepid enthusiasm. Perhaps touring a place where the lives of thousands of people were ruined just didn’t have the same hilarious frivolity as they were expecting. Soon enough, the things left over in the dark come for them and the jump scares begin.
It’s an important distinction to note that these characters chose to step into the forbidden. They didn’t stumble into it by accident; they were never innocent. They searched it out and underestimated the truth behind their mother’s waving finger. There’s a certain weight to things that are truly horrifying and once you become privy to them, they start to pull on you. If you don’t take that threat seriously, there’s always a chance you’ll be crushed. Prime example: exploring Chernobyl and not expecting to be confronted by some kind of lurking dread. In essence, if you go searching in the dark, be prepared for what you might find there.
Beyond a cautionary tale, Chernobyl Diaries offers little in terms of “I can’t get to sleep cause I’m too scared” kind of frightening, it’s more like loud noises kind of frightening. There are a few scenes with well-orchestrated suspense and appropriate jump scare payoff, but an overall feeling of terror just isn’t there. The dialogue is fairly expositional and clunky, which leads to some forced performances, which leads to phony moments, which leads to breaks in believability. Since this film thrives off believability, that becomes a major detractor.
There are a few scenes with well-orchestrated suspense and appropriate jump scare payoff, but an overall feeling of terror just isn’t there.
However, if you want to toss your popcorn (like out of your bag of popcorn, not, you know, out of your stomach), there are plenty of startling bangs and screams to go around. Lots of slow leans toward windows. What was that? Was that him? I can’t tell. Maybe if I lean slightly closer. No, even from this perspective, it’s still too dark outside. Cue something banging on the glass. It’s not original, but it’s a classic and still effective.
If you’re starved for some horror, this film might briefly satiate you, but not in any lasting way. The thirst will return, your dry palate aching for something with more sustaining power.
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