Review: Dark Shadows (2012)

by

10, May 2012Reviews

Cast: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Helena Bonham Carter
Director: Tim Burton
Country: USA
Genre: Comedy | Fantasy
Official Trailer: Here

Editor’s Notes: Dark Shadows releases in theaters on Friday May 11th.

Tim Burton movies have become something of a joke recently, and not without good reason. For the last decade or so, he’s been more hit and miss than ever before, struggling to regain the creative stride he one had. For every great film he knocks out of the park like Big Fish or Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, he churns out a disaster like Alice in Wonderland. I’ve long defended Burton as a director who made a lot of good movies and still does, but only when he really cares. A film like Alice in Wonderland reeks of just taking on a project for a paycheck and to keep busy, whereas a deeply personal film like Big Fish becomes a sort of accidental masterpiece. So when he gets to do something like Dark Shadows, which has him returning to his more grounded period work of his earlier career, and is apparently a passion project for him, where does it land? The unfortunate truth is that it falls into the misfire category.

Based on the gothic soap opera of the same name that aired from 1966 to 1971, Dark Shadows follows Barnabas Collins, a wealthy aristocrat and heir to the Collins family business. After being transformed into a vampire by a jealous witch who loved him without return, he was sealed in a coffin for 200 years. After being released in 1972, he sets out to rejoin the Collins family and restore the family business. However, the witch has lived on as well, and makes it her personal mission to destroy Barnabas and his family at every turn. All of this sounds like the makings of something that, given the right amount of creativity, could be a really inspired and fun take on the genre. Unfortunately, it’s all just more of them same with scarce moments of entertainment peppered throughout.

The script is largely to blame here. Instead of finding genuinely funny humor amongst the gothic horror melodrama, it’s just a non-stop barrage of the worst kind of fish out of water jokes: puns. That’s it. It’s just playing on words throughout the entire script and it gets tiresome incredibly fast. How many times can Barnabas confuse modern phrases with synonyms from his time period? More than you ever wanted to hear, and more often than not the jokes are rather juvenile. Occasionally there’s a funny moment here and there, but for the most part it lies on Johnny Depp’s body language. The man is a master of physical acting and it shows here, but only every so often. He tries his best, but one gets the sense that Sweeney Todd will forever be the last great Burton/Depp collaboration. They just aren’t finding inspiration in each other anymore. It’s a shame, since the two are such close friends, but a break is definitely in order because frankly, they’ve sucked the well dry. The rest of the cast all get to look great but don’t do much. The film rests on Depp’s shoulders and while he tries to carry it like a champ, there’s only so much he can do with the material.

Instead of finding genuinely funny humor amongst the gothic horror melodrama, it’s just a non-stop barrage of the worst kind of fish out of water jokes: puns. That’s it. It’s just playing on words throughout the entire script and it gets tiresome incredibly fast.

Even the horror melodrama, the strongest element of the film, completely derails after a while. Characters disappear for long stretches of time and then we’re expected to care about them later on, especially in a shoehorned love-story that just makes no sense whatsoever because it comes out of nowhere. Really though, I have to say that the film’s biggest failure is its editing, which is just a disaster. Not only is the film too long by a good half hour, but also everything about the film is too long. Every scene, every shot, it just drags on at such an incredibly slow pace that it overstays its welcome two times over. The editing between shots is so downright sluggish that it makes you want to scream like the characters in Monty Python and the Holy Grail, “Get on with it!”

Really though, I have to say that the film’s biggest failure is its editing, which is just a disaster. Not only is the film too long by a good half hour, but also everything about the film is too long. Every scene, every shot, it just drags on at such an incredibly slow pace that it overstays its welcome two times over.

Not everything about it is a failure. The production design is terrific, as always with Burton’s films. I was impressed by Danny Elfman’s score, which avoids the usual nightmare circus sound he brings to nearly every film he’s done with Burton, with some really rich and inspired cues throughout. And despite all its failings, I was mostly engaged while watching it. Is Dark Shadows an outright disaster like Alice in Wonderland? Probably not, but it toes that line. It’s hard to really muster up any strong feelings about it one way or the other, because the film is so devoid of life that it doesn’t really seem worth getting worked up about. If only Burton and Depp could just squeeze out one more truly inspired film like Ed Wood, but alas, that seems less and less likely with each passing year.

50/100 ~ MEDIOCRE. Is Dark Shadows an outright disaster like Alice in Wonderland? Probably not, but it toes that line. It’s hard to really muster up any strong feelings about it one way or the other, because the film is so devoid of life that it doesn’t really seem worth getting worked up about. If only Burton and Depp could just squeeze out one more truly inspired film like Ed Wood, but alas, that seems less and less likely with each passing year.

Kevin Ketchum
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Austin Film Critic. I am a blogger, critic, and writer living in Austin, TX. I first became serious about film after seeing The Lord of the Rings trilogy in its original theatrical run between 2001 and 2003. Since then, film has become my life and there's no better job than writing about what I love.
  • http://twitter.com/AyznGurl Robyn Cristopher

    I feel the same way here! :) Great review!

  • http://japancinema.net/ Marcello

    gah what happened to Johnny Depp? He used to be box office gold.

  • http://twitter.com/NextProjection Christopher Misch

    I’ve never been a fan of most Johnny Depp/Tim Burton collaborations (except for Sweeney Tood which is AMAZING!), so my intentions of seeing this one on the big screen are minimal especially since I haven’t seen The Avengers yet.