TV Recap: Game Of Thrones Season 3 - Episode 5 - ‘Kissed by Fire’

May 1, 2013 Television No Comments

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Rejoice! Today Jon Snow is a man!

Ok, first he betrayed the Night’s Watch by giving out all the details of how many soldiers they had and where they’re stationed – hesitating on the numbers (so he doesn’t completely sell them out, I suppose).  Then, seeing he was on a roll, he broke another Night’s Watch vow- the one of celibacy.  But what’s a Aboy to do when a girl strips naked in front of you and offers herself as your sacrifice? Well pay her back in kind of course. The episode is called the “Kiss of Fire” after all.

The Hound’s trial by combat begins with Beric setting his sword on fire.  Guess that’s one way to even the playing field. Still it’s the former King’s bodyguard who cuts the leader of the Brotherhood down. Thoros throws himself over Beric chanting, while Arya tries to launch herself at the Hound screaming “Burn in Hell”. And oh my god, Beric comes back to life! Guess those White Walkers aren’t the only zombies in Westeros.  The Hound wins his freedom because apparently, the Lord of Light has plans for him. Arya’s terrible day continues when Gendry announces he’s going to stay on with the Brothers, because they’re a family and he’s never had one. When Arya offers to be his, he reminds her of their class differences.  Way to turn down a girl’s proposal. Will someone just tell him he’s really a Baratheon please!

Jon may be celebrating his manhood, but Jamie really is the man this season. In fact, he’s a really a hero because yeah, he broke his oath and betrayed his King but he was really saving the people of Westeros from being burned to death by wildfire. Am I the only one uncomfortable with the touchy feely Jamie moments? I mean, this is still the man who casually pushed Bran out the window and practices multiple counts of incest with his sister.  Is he redeemed now that we know the King he betrayed was a crazy would-be mass murderer? The jury’s still out in my opinion, but you gotta give him a hand (haha) for not being just a one dimensional asshole (that’s Joffrey’s job). This epiphany goes down in the baths, where Jamie decides to join Brienne just to pick a fight. So now that they’ve seen each other naked, I’d wish they’d just get on with it. Actually, to be honest I was really hoping he’d actually have a bath before launching into his sympathetic soliloquy. He really was very dirty after all.

We may also be seeing the softer side of Stannis as well. He’s still pretty grim and humourless but after being soundly defeated by our favorite imp last season, he seems humbled. Not to mention he’s all remorseful about sleeping with Melissandre and cheating on his wife. No one would blame him since she’s batshit crazy and keeps jars of her stillborn children for company.

While Rob’s wife isn’t crazy, neither is she very useful. Talisa is only one of the bad decisions he’s made lately. He metes out justice by beheading Lord Karstark, who had the captured Lannister kids killed. This was despite the suggestions that he should spare his life in order to keep the support of Karstark’s men – well Talisa’s and Lady Catelyn’s suggestion. Edmure’s response consisted of, “Duh. Yeah, “ while nodding in slack-jawed agreement.  At least Rob, unlike Theon, knows how to chop a head off properly. Actually, Rob’s learned a little too much from his father. His reason for dealing harshly with Lord Karstark is that he believes he can’t fight for justice if he doesn’t do so from within his own ranks. It’s a good and honourable reason, but honour isn’t an option when you want to keep your head.

And maybe Ned Stark wasn’t the best example, but at least he wasn’t Tywin Lannister who doesn’t see his children as anything but tools to further his own agenda. Honestly, the Lannisters should have their own reality show. It seems like Cersei might be getting back into the spirit of things. She finds out the Tyrell’s marriage plans for Sansa and Loras and runs off to tell Daddy who decides that Tyrion would be a much better choice. Poor Sansa’s getting husbands foisted on her for all sides:  Gay, midget, old guy - I feel like she’s King Landing’s charity case bride.  Cersei’s smug smirk is wiped off her face when Tywin informs her she’ll be marrying Loras instead. When she refuses to do it, saying she’s the Queen Regent her father retorts, “You’ll do as I say and marry Loras Tyrell. And put an end to the disgusting rumors about you once and for all.” As suspected, Tywin isn’t completely ignorant about his eldest children’s special relationship. So much for the return of Cersei’s mojo. Next week maybe?

LOOSE ENDS:

  • * Lady Oleanna continues to deliver the zingers. Her disappointment that Tyrion isn’t the drunkard he was rumoured to be prompts her to retort, “You can imagine my disappointment at finding nothing but a browbeaten bookeeper.” There needs to be a spinoff show with her in it.
  • * Dany continues to march toward Westeros. We finally get to see her speak face to face with one of the Unsullied, who she learns are given the names of vermin. Her commander, Grey Worm wants to keep his because he thinks it’s lucky since he had it the day she freed him. Awwww.. but seriously, change your name.
  • * Where are Sam and Gilly? I’m curious to know what’s going on with them. Where have they run off to and how is Sam going to take care of anyone when he can’t even take care of himself?

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Natasha Wong

I'm the girl at the back of the bus who has a penchant for writing about red jello. All hail the Bitch Queen of the North. But I can be bribed with cookies. So step right up. I don't bite. Much.