Nice to see there’s always maneuvering on the small council, no matter who the King’s Hand is. Tyrion gets to stay at Court as Master of Coin, a position he doesn’t want but can’t exactly turn down. I wonder if Tywin knew there would be a game of musical chairs. Do you think he actually cares where anyone sits? Tyrion’s existence must aggravate Tywin, not only sullying the Lannister name by being a dwarf and his continued whoring, but what must piss him off the most is his intelligence. It would be one thing if Tyrion was dumb as a rock, but it’s harder to ignore a son who’s got some talent.
Meanwhile, Tywin’s other son, Jamie, is tied up on horseback with Brienne arguing about his swordskills. Definitely beginning to sound like a relationship is blooming here.
Rob has returned to Riverrun to attend his grandpa’s funeral. Unfortunately, there was a small hiccup in the proceedings. I guess lameness runs in the Tully side of the family. Why would anyone volunteer to shoot an arrow in an important ceremony if his aim sucked? Good thing Edmure’s uncle Blackfish was able to help him out. Well at least we know that Robb’s not completely a robot. Dressing down his uncle for wasting resources on a useless battle gave him some vigor I haven’t seen since he decided to pout and have Talisa on his tent floor.
Daenerys now has about eight thousand slave soldiers along with some additional untrained slaves and a translator, but she’s minus a dragon. However, she still has her Dothraki as well as two advisors, who are determined to fight to out-help each other. I love how fierce the Khaleesi gets when people try to undermine her authority. Trading one of her dragon babies for an army seems out of character though. I have a feeling the dragon will find a way back to its mummy eventually. But seriously, Daenerys needs to get on with it already. She’s been preparing for war for three seasons. She’s gotta get to King’s Landing soon, especially since there’s the promise of a showdown with Tywin.
Theon has managed to escape from his prison with the help of his sister’s emissary, but is chased down and told “I’m going to fuck you into the ground”, which sounds extremely uncomfortable and kinda dirty. Of course, we never get to see this phenomenon happen as he’s saved in the nick of time. Pity.
While Tyrion pores over Westeros’ account books all afternoon, his squire Podrick reaps his reward for saving his life by spending his with three whores. Apparently, he’s so good at bedsport, they wouldn’t take his money. Both Tyrion and Bron are so astonished and intrigued that Tyrion pours some wine and pulls up a chair saying, “I need details, lots and lots of details.” It’s so great when men aren’t too proud to learn.
We finally learn that Jamie isn’t completely a monster after all, when he begs for Brienne to be left “unbesmirched”. It’s a very specific choice of word, non? He could have said “untouched” or “intact” or “innocent”. Unbesmirched seems almost insulting to his captors, as if he’s disgusted by them. It’s curious that Jamie has no problems pushing Bran from a window ledge, but he can’t stand to allow Brienne to be raped. Is the Kingslayer developing a conscience? However, getting his hand hacked off for his troubles will put a damper on doing the right thing. At least he now has a built in excuse for why his sword fighting isn’t up to par.