Editor’s Notes: Zombie Night is now out on Blu-rat and DVD.
I like zombies. I like them slow. I like them slightly clever. The zombie flick will never die, nor will it ever go away. It’s the monster that keeps coming back up at the end of a classic horror film. You open the door to a brand new day, and oops, zombie: the ubiquitous comment on a decaying consumer society right in your face. When Zombie Night came across my cluttered desk, it was like a breath of fresh air. While endlessly try to come up with new words to express the underrepresentation of minorities and mixed genders in Hollywood, here comes a movie that could’ve changed all that. After a bottle of wine the night before and a half a cup of coffee left in my mug, zombies were indeed my kin.
While endlessly try to come up with new words to express the underrepresentation of minorities and mixed genders in Hollywood, here comes a movie that could’ve changed all that.
Patrick (Anthony Michael Hall) is driving his daughter Tracie (Rachel G. Fox) and her friend Rachel (Meg Rutenberg) home at night. There’s a traffic jam and as they move closer to an accident scene, Tracie leans out and notices a dead body and body is moving! Meanwhile, Patrick’s wife Birdy (Daryl Hannah) is back at home with her aging and almost blind mother, Nana (Shirley Jones). Alan Ruck, Jennifer Taylor, and Gibson Bobby Sjobeck play the neighbors.
Important facts on Zombie Night zombie culture: They’re slow, but they’re not clever. They bite and feast on flesh, but not all the flesh because for some reason they forget and look for more things to bite. People would only become zombies if they died. They also moaned while they ambled aimlessly through they neighborhood. They “die” if you shoot or stab them in the head, and for some reason if you’re an obese zombie, all you have to do is push it over. In the more suspenseful moments of the film, the zombies would assemble together trying to break in through doorways, sewer passageways, glass greenhouses, and police stations. Nothing really differentiated one zombie from the next. I counted one child zombie that looked like Dora the Explorer, everyone else looked like they had just left a sale on raspberry sauce at Wal-mart.
I found myself screaming at the screen because I’m tired of people getting money for movies that don’t entertain. It’s almost criminal to suggest that it’s ok.
Important facts about actors who choose to be in these television zombie movies: forget about acting! Director John Gulager’s previous works were Feast, Feast 2, and Piranha 3DD. Honestly I didn’t read his credits until the movie was finished. However, that gives no director the excuse not to capitalize on his list of celebrities here and not up the cheese factor. The best Gulager could do was give Hannah the chance at some very awkward swordplay (she somehow finds a samurai sword in a mortuary where she decides its best to hide her family). You will scream at the screen and maybe you might find yourself laughing, but that’s a major maybe. From the stilted editing to the feebly weak elder trope (oh and the black girl dies, sorry not sorry spoiler), there’s nothing in the film that made me want to recommend it to anyone. You don’t create thrills by filming people making obvious mistakes. You don’t make a film because you have a set and actors. I found myself screaming at the screen because I’m tired of people getting money for movies that don’t entertain. It’s almost criminal to suggest that it’s ok. There’s no effort at cheese or tongue in cheek or a sense of empathy for the characters. I didn’t even care for the zombies.
I am sad to say that Zombie Night did not fulfill in its promise as a breath of fresh air. As I looked at the pile of movies on my desk, movies born out of ennui or inspiration or disenfranchisement with the world and its politics, I went to my kitchen and made myself a sandwich.
[notification type=”star”]30/100 ~ AWFUL. I am sad to say that Zombie Night did not fulfill in its promise as a breath of fresh air. There’s no effort at cheese or tongue in cheek or a sense of empathy for the characters. I didn’t even care for the zombies.[/notification]