Editor’s Notes: The Huntsman: Winter’s War is currently out in wide theatrical release.
Mirror, mirror on the bathroom stall, what modest box-office hit, circa 2012, deserves a sequel? No need to think hard. It’s not a trick question. It’s the exact opposite. Whether you wanted it or not - more likely not - you, meaning everyone, readers and non-readers alike, are getting a semi-sequel to Snow White and the Huntsman, an action-fantasy primarily notable for its visual design, costumes, and salacious, post-release tabloid rumors involving the since departed director and a cast member. Snow White, however, only receives a brief back-of-the-head cameo (presumably a double, not Kristen Stewart), in The Huntsman: Winter’s War, a prequel that isn’t just a prequel (because it’s also a sequel); a sequel that isn’t just a sequel (because it’s also a spinoff); a remake that isn’t just a remake (because it’s a prequel, a sequel, and a spinoff rolled into one). With a reported budget roughly a third less than its non-illustrious predecessor, it’s also an action-fantasy that falls noticeably, woefully short action and fantasy wise.
. . . a prequel that isn’t just a prequel (because it’s also a sequel); a sequel that isn’t just a sequel (because it’s also a spinoff) . . .
The Huntsman: Winter’s War opens with sleep-inducing voice over narration courtesy of Liam Neeson (he smartly stays offscreen throughout) delineating the various players, plots, and subplots of the world before Snow White and the Huntsman. Faced with a predictably avoidable tragedy, Freya (Emily Blunt), a witch with once dormant powers, becomes the Snow Queen. While her irredeemably wicked sister, Ravenna (Charlize Theron), leaves her side to become a kingdom-conquering queen of her own, Freya decides to build an army of “huntsmen” culled from the families of local children. If she can’t have children, then her subjects can’t either. In turn, two of the kidnapped children grow into Eric (Chris Hemsworth) and Sara (Jessica Chastain). Not surprisingly – because we’re dealing with a woefully reductive, underwritten script here – they’re the “best of the best,” the best being slashing and killing for their queen as the territories under her control expand in every direction.
With a reported budget roughly a third less than its non-illustrious predecessor, it’s also an action-fantasy that falls noticeably, woefully short action and fantasy wise.
Of course, we see little of Eric and Sara in action, in part due to budget limitations (expect exactly zero large-scale battle scenes), but primarily due to another, far more obvious reason: If moviegoers see Eric and Sara as merciless killers (which they are, up to a point), they’d be far less invested in their romantic relationship (assuming they’re invested at all) or the subsequent troubles that arise from their decision to break Freya’s anti-love rule (she had her heart broken once). Discovery leads to banishment for Eric and seemingly certain death for Sara, thankfully ending the flaccid, turgid prequel portion of The Huntsman: Winter’s War to flash forward past Ravenna’s downfall and a new mission for Eric: Finding and safeguarding the source of Ravenna’s power: the magical mirror. With the budget shortfall in obvious effect, Eric gets just two helper dwarves, Nion (Nick Frost), and Gryff (Rob Brydon), his half-brother. Along the way, they meet two female dwarves, Bromwyn (Sheridan Smith), and Doreena (Alexandra Roach).
The quest narrative takes the better part of an hour to get going and by then, chances are most moviegoers have or will soon check out. With none of its predecessor’s generically epic scope (that budget issue again), we’re left with four listless characters tramping around in a forest. They talk and walk. They walk and talk, exchanging some of the most forgettable “comic” dialogue ever put in a action-fantasy film. Only a scene involving under-rendered CGI goblins offers a brief respite from the seemingly endless story-stalling non-action. Thankfully, the third act leaves the forest behind for Freya’s snow- and ice-covered castle. It’s filled with even more poorly rendered, embarrassing CGI. Even worse? By then it’s obvious Charlize Theron’s heavily hyped Ravenna has been relegated to supporting player, appearing in the extended prologue, disappearing during the overlong first and second acts, before semi-triumphantly returning during the rushed, clumsily executed third act.
While it might sound speculative, given the pared-down production budget, it’s more than likely that Theron was paid by the minute and not a flat salary as the other actors in The Huntsman: Winter’s War obviously received. Ultimately, it doesn’t matter. Despite a strong cast featuring three of the better, if not best, actresses of their generation (Blunt, Chastain, and Theron) and a charismatic leading man (Hemsworth), The Huntsman: Winter’s War fails by practically every objective and subjective metric. It doesn’t deliver performance, story, or character wise. It feels exactly like what it is: A shameless, pointless, and unwanted cash-grab (unwanted by everyone except Universal, of course), one moviegoers hopefully will reject throughout the coming weeks.
Despite a strong cast featuring three of the better, if not best, actresses of their generation (Blunt, Chastain, and Theron) and a charismatic leading man (Hemsworth), The Huntsman: Winter’s War fails by practically every objective and subjective metric. It doesn’t deliver performance, story, or character wise. It feels exactly like what it is: A shameless, pointless, and unwanted cash-grab (unwanted by everyone except Universal, of course), one moviegoers hopefully will reject throughout the coming weeks.
